"Houston, We have a Beautiful Spanish Speaking Native American."

So, Ashley, or as I like to call her, A**ley. Left back in October.

I miss her.

But I've been terrible at writing her. As I warned her that I might be. SO on top of actually writing her a letter, purchasing the clothing she asked me to purchase, and sending her our USPS Messenger, I am about to do something some would call a tribute, to a love affair so passionate not even Romeo and Juliet could top it.

The love affair between Ashley Case and Adam Lazzara, and his music.

So I have challenged myself to compile a note to Ashley from me using at least one line from every Taking Back Sunday song that ever existed, possibly even pre-Adam TBS.

And so here we go:

Dear Hna Case,

Have you seen the girl with my heart on her sweater? Sorry that I couldn't make you stay. Placing pieces on the floor, of all the things that we loved before. Maybe it wasn't good enough, but I gave you all I could. So go on, go and take on the world. You're going to be a star someday. Do you remember the time when you and I were fine? You're such a sucker for a sweet talker but we won't stand for hazy eyes anymore.

If we go down, we go down together, best friends means you've got this silly way of keeping me on the edge of my seat. And you know I’m not one for complaining, but I love the way you’d roll excuses off the tip of your tongue. It's times like these, where silence means everything.

Stop it, come on, you know I can’t help it. I got the mic and you got the mosh pit. Regardless if my pictures they don't line your mirror, regardless, you know that I'll still wait for your call. The TRUTH is you could slit my throat And with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

I’m only complaining to keep myself busy.

I'm sorry it took me so long to come around. Oh, but can’t you, can’t you feel it rolling off your lips.. Go on just say it, You need me like a bad habit. We used to be this dying breed, I've got a bad feeling about this. So, we're talking forever, and you almost feel better but, better's no excuse for tonight.

"Splintered but focused" you're as good as gold. You're built from distractions so brilliantly dull. You said it makes you want to fall in love or be smart enough to keep your distance. You can't decide, you can't decide.

All tired, scream safe haven, let's get this out and on the table... We could live through these letters or forget it all together. See, the months, they don't matter it's the days I can't take. When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away.

Passed out in our school clothes so we'd wake up in our Sunday's best. Well I pictured you in blue. But I have to say I'm more partial to the red. Deep, dark, and devastating. And then you said a little more about your dreams, like that was my call.

You're so sensitive. I am, I am a machine. I'm an addict for dramatics, I confuse the two for love, less is more except when it comes to mistakes.

We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing"You're safe, child, you are safe." It says, "You, oh, you are so cool."

I heard that this is where, where the party is. Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?) It gets easier with doses of time. Yeah, we're stubborn and melodramatic. A real class act. You see, I know a few of your favorite things. Reminders, they are not reluctant. So stop me if you've heard this one before.

Would you do it again, again and count backwards from ten? Well you don't know where I've been. The closer that I look is just the further that you get. Already, stubborn skin thickens in attempt to understand.

I keep my grammar well rehearsed. Correct each stutter, every slur. There is no place on God's great Earth, where you can go to hide from me. So go prove to the world, what you already proved. (Cause you ain't workin' for them anymore.)

How long before I'm just before I'm just a memory? You are a Sunday afternoon, with nothing to do. You are Manhattan in June.

All I ever did was look up to you, so I'll put my money where my mouth is... And I put my money where my mouth was, so good enough's as good as it's gonna get. I am a mantle, and you are a painting. Come rest your frame on me. We happened before we knew what was happening.

You quote the good book, when it's convenient. You can't blame a girl for stickin' to what she knows. You're better off believing everything you heard was true. Won't you take your time with me? You told me you ain’t gonna miss it. But If you, you see something then you should say something. (geniune and unprepared.)

Well, we assure you the procedure is safe and routine. So come around again and I'll show you what I mean. cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing.

And I wish you weren't worth the wait cause there's some things I'd like to say to you...

Love, Slie.

Sorry to get all Rascal Flatts on you. But..

I once had a dear friend, we'll call him Tyrone. Because that's his name. Tell me:

"This is the course some take to find love. It's a bitter, brutal, and sometimes unnecessary course but nonetheless, the course. Why? Because it makes the end so much more worth it. You'll never really appreciate the heaven you find in somebody unless you go through hell with everybody else."

And at the time, it was sound advice. But it wasn't applicable. The funny thing is that when he said this to me, I was only a week away from meeting the "one" (Even though, I wouldn't KNOW he was the "one" until a couple of months later.)

I can now FULLY grasp the concept of finding heaven in somebody, and aside from the couple of times I get upset about it, I am GRATEFUL for the hell I went through.

I’m finishing the year out strong, I found that guy everyone knew I needed, but I never thought he existed. The one that makes my heart pound. That makes me laugh. And laughs at my jokes, even when they’re stupid. The one that rubs my feet and sends me cards on our “weekiversaries” The one that cleans my whole house just to be sweet. The one who is patient with my PMS.

I found the one who WANTS to make me happy. and I want to make him happy too.

Open Faced Cubicle: Blessing in Disguise.

SO in August. I had a half-week long getaway in Hotlanta. I left work, excited and relieved to have a break from the building that consumes the majority of the days of my youth.

My trip was awesome, and for once in my life, I wasn't all that thrilled to come back to my real life in Utah.

Sunday night (when I got home) I recieved a text from a co-worker letting me know that we had moved cubicles. I was a little bit upset about this, but not too worried about it.

When I got in on Monday morning I ventured back to my new "pube cube" and when I realized that they stuck me in one of the open faced cubicles on the end, I was a lot more angry about it than what the situation called for. But I brushed it off, and decided to just hate my job instead.

It was the worst thing ever, to feel like you were basically sitting in the hallway. Everyone was rubber necking it when they walked by. I hated it. No seriously, I HATED it.

BUT, that was over four months ago, and my perspective has changed a little.

The first blessing would be my privacy screen. It's a thin black screen that makes it impossible for anyone not sitting in my seat to see what i am doing.

But the most important thing here, are the sights I see. Meaning, the people.

The outfits people choose to wear in a casual dress work enviroment, would BLOW YOUR MIND.

Now, I wouldn't call myself some pretentious fashionista or anything, but I like to think that I am not out to keep the 90's style alive or anything like that.

FIRST: Aladdin pants girl. She's what we in "the biz" like to call mind blowing. she wears these pants like everyday. I don't care who you are. This is not fashion forward. It's fashion backward. It's gross. Esp. when you wear them with tennis shoes.

SECOND: Pretty recently, with the weather getting to be freezing balls and what not, some people wear their coats around the office. Someone has taken it to a whole new level. She walks around the office all day wearing this. You know what? I get it. It's cold. But let's take it down a couple hundred notches eh?

And LAST (for now): There is a particularly effeminate male who's sexual orientation is none of my business and totally irrelevant ("not that there's anything wrong with that..") Anyway, it's not his dress that kills me, it's his walk. it puts Tyra to shame and it would make Miss J Alexander WEEP. He walks like it's for sale and the rent is due TONIGHT.

anyway, this post was a waste of everyone's time. but it's my life.

i found this in my drafts and i lol'd.

this is just a mirco-blog to say:

why can't i grab (mostly scratch when they itch) my own boobs in public? they're mine.

i found my mom's diary..

i found these entries in my mom's diary today and i thought it was really sweet. yeah, i laughed and i most definitely sobbed like a babbling brook. but nevermind that.

Sometime in 1979 (10 years old)

I had a very exciting dream. I had moved uptown 111 C street. Our class decided to go upstairs to the annual Star Wars hunt. Me and another creature called Setrasune dug a hole in this dirt and mad a tent around us and each of us had a gun that we made. we went out to fight. I almost got hit. Setrasune did, he was killed. I went back to the hole and hid with my gun aimed at the opening. I killed several people my gun was used up. A creature named Pentagon shot me. The shot hit and went through my ears. I was weak. Tina, a friend told me to come on we were going to get out of here in an airplane. We snuck out and got in and took off. We crashed in a tall pine tree and were stuck. I was looking for those too and could not find them so I rocked the plane and it fell out and into the water. Me and another girl swam and pulled th eplane to the shore we couldn't see or find Tina after a little while. I seen her swim in. Somebody found us and took us back to the school. The Star Wars thing was still going. I was shot again. Tina grabbed me and said "if you're ever hurt come to me" and we both cried and went home.

Nov. 23 1980 (11 years old)

Every Sunday I listen to the radio on KCPX. They play real good songs. Like Whip It and Cars. They're rock and roll songs. Top 40. My favorite song is We Had Seasons In The Sun. Last night I watched the Bermuda Triangle It was scary. Ships and Airaplanes disappear.

Oct. 28 1981 (12 years old)

We took a tour through the Jordan Temple. It is so pretty. I can't wait till I can get married. I'm going to get married in the Salt lake Temple. Then travel around the world and see all the Temples.

words are hard.

this is so stupied that i even have to poste this. becuz i thot i was an uhdult. and that all of my freinds was uhdults. but apparuntle KNOT! becuz no afence or anything, but nobuddy can SPELL anymore! i can't even baleve it. its like, rilly sad that i have to call everyone out on my stupied blog butt, thats just the way it is i geuss.

it just makes me wunder the qality of educashun that we got in shcool. but THEN i start to wunder if it just plane ignorinace. it could all so have some thing to do with how pritty girls dont think they knead to lern how to spell and stuffe.

i dont no alot of things, but i just think its insain. i mein, hello? spell chek!

it dusnt mein im gunna stope loveing any one, i just think we could lern a little bit by reiding a book once in a wile.

like twilite.

TEEM JACOB!