You'd think I'd stay off of places like Facebook when I have this problem, but guess what? I don't.
SO, with that said, i've got some things to say.
Dear Foodies,
I know you think everyone cares what you had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But guess what unless you ate a human, or lawn chair, NOBODY CARES.
Dear Marrieds,
Unless he recently saved you from a fire, it's father's day, or your anniversary (and I'm being generous.) I do not want to read about how amazing your husband is. Unless he dutch ovened you in bed.
Dear Drama Kings/Queens,
Seriously. Stop with the boo hoo cryptic posts that are so obviously desperate cries for attention. If you want my attention, you're going to have to earn it, and with a status update that says something like, "This is the last time. I'm done." I'm not impressed. And it makes me want to puke whenever I see someone comment "What's wrong?"
Dear Music Lovers,
I get it, you love that song. But stop posting lyrics. I don't care if you know how to put little
♫ on the outisde of the words. I DON'T. CARE. don't care.
Dear Old People,
Cancel your account.
Dear Bloggers,
Facebook is not a blog, please stop with the recaps of your entire day.
Dear Funny people,
None of these rules apply to you (including the old people) Keep up the good work.
2 comments:
Ha ha! I think I fall into like 3 of these categories :(
Sadly, FB exists only for self importance. It THRIVES on such things.
The only way to keep account is to post responses that show the annoying people how little I care or how stupid I think they are.
It's a game. I win points for every person I insult who doesn't know they are being mocked. That's right. I'm just mature that way.
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