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Monday, December 27, 2010

this bridezilla post may or may not be explicit.

Everyone knows, Taylor finally got the balls to propose. And we are happy and excited and in love. And I am going to write a post about the engagement story so that I can refer people to it when they ask. But later.

Planning a wedding has made me feel like a total bridezilla. But not like you'd THINK I'd be a bridezilla.

I am getting really p.o.'d about traditional, typical, BORING weddings. It's a really stupid thing to get mad about.

I think my initial anger came when I changed my facebook status to engaged (because it ain't legitimate unless it's on facebook) and instantly the little ads on the side bar popped up and were screaming at me about wedding dresses and photographers and caterers and cakes and frilly things telling me to fall right into the standard wedding mold.

The thing is that you're supposed to have a HUGE fkn diamond. and it's supposed to be white gold, because yellow gold is out. You're supposed to make your bridesmaids spend hundreds of dollars on dresses they'll never wear again, and then also do your bidding, and in return, you give them a 3 dollar gift. You're supposed to send out save the dates, then send announcements, then send invitations. You're supposed to spend a lot of money on flowers. You're supposed to have roses. You're supposed to make the groom wear a tux. You're supposed take your engagements by train tracks and wrap your arm around your fiancée proudly displaying your ring like it's a natural way for you to pose. You're supposed to have a big WHITE 3000 dollar designer wedding dress. You're supposed to coordinate your colors with the season you're getting married in. You're supposed to do everything according to a tradition that you have no idea who in hell started. You're supposed to serve everyone dinner and make them listen to boring music and sit around while you feed each other cake and stand around and smile like fkn idiots while really all you wanna do is rip each others clothes off and do it right there on the gift table, and they wanna go home and watch re runs of The Office. You're supposed to forget that you are getting married because you're in love and realize that a wedding is about show and nothing else and it's officially your number one priority. Essentially and frankly you're supposed to spend that ca-ca-cash, conform, and act like a bitch.

BUT LET THE RECORD SHOW, I am not going to do everything how I'm supposed to. And I hate openly saying that I am doing the opposite of the masses. But no matter how stressed I get, I will NOT forget that I am doing this whole wedding so that I can marry my best friend, get gifts, and celebrate with all of the people that I love. My wedding is not gonna be a show, it's gonna be a color coordinated hardcore party. And I don't really care what anyone thinks of it.

And just as a side note, I am not ashamed to admit that I spent 35 bucks on my wedding dress. and 15 bucks a piece on my Bridesmaid dresses. SUCKA WHAAAAT?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

winter blues.

lately, i've had a case of the winter blues. but don't get out your razor blades and hawthorne heights ablums just yet. i just wanted to post some things that make me happy, and mostly laugh a lot. in this extremely brief multimedia blog post.

DOGS ACTING LIKE PEOPLE!



this picture of jamie in which she appears to be blind, drunk, or lost. or all of the above.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Summer.













Lately, I have been converting my family home videos to DVD, and have taken the opportunity to watch most of the videos. These videos range from 1996-2006. This has caused a serious case of nostalgia. Especially watching videos of my mom. It makes me realize how much I took for granted.

If you asked me 7 months ago what my favorite season was, I'd say, "ABSOLUTELY, summer." But spending a summer in Hotlanta changed my feelings about summer, COMPLETELY. So, I broke up with it, resented it and fell in love with the next season that came along. But I'm not here to complain, I just had a little reminder of why I loved summer so much, and that's what I'm here to talk about.

Although I didn't realize it at the time, summers in Manti were the BEST. The absolute best. The weather was wonderful, and even when it was hot as balls, it was still bearable. The nights were perfect. I remember feeling like I owned the town at night, cause it was dead, in the no stoplight town, except for the trashies hanging out at Top Stop. But it was my favorite time to be out, and it was safe, aside from the meth heads. My first car was a convertible, and I loved riding up and down the streets with the top down. In my younger years, we used to play night games, and we'd call boys who lived near by and they'd ride their bikes over and we'd spend a few minutes thinking we were cool, and then usually ended up playing capture the flag or .... that's pretty much it.

Whenever school got out, it was always around my birthday, so I had two things to look forward to. Then for about a month, I'd only see the friends I chose to see, unless I ended up at the pool (which was at the park.) Which I often did. THEN, came pageant (Mormon Miracle Pageant) time, and this is when you'd see basically everyone from school walking around, because that was the cool thing to do, even though half of us didn't stay and watch pageant, because we'd seen it a million times. And we'd see how much everyone changed in only the 4 weeks we'd been out of school. Once everyone had basically gone through puberty, it was usually only simple hair changes and golden summer skin. But in our prepubescent and pubescent years, people got boobs, got hips, got braces, got zits, their shoulders broadened, their voices changed.. and you know the drill.

Then it was onto the 4th of July, the carnival at the park, jam packed with FUNTIVITIES such as: climbing the greased pole, talent show, Miss 4th of July Pageant, carnival game booths, hot dogs, lemonade, BBQ, Popcorn, Cotton Candy, and all kinds of authentic borderline whitetrashery. And in the night time it was off to the football stadium, for the firework show, which to be honest, is the probably where they spend the entire city budget.

Until late August, the rest of the summer was a "choose your own adventure", I personally chose to spend my summer chasing tail and raising hell and getting drinks at Maverik. I also spent a lot of time at my grandpa's farm. Especially when I lived there. Don't let me fool you though, I didn't do much hard work at all, besides moving waterlines and complaining about it the whole time. And I would often—brace yourself—drive the tractor bailing hay. But for leisure I would ride the four wheeler, or the go cart, always be sure to steer clear of riding the horses, because I don't believe in riding horses. (Because of the "incident") Sometimes I would put the sprinkler under the trampoline. Or spend my time trying to jump from one trampoline to the other, because yes, I had two trampolines, and yes you are allowed to be jealous.

Then it was nearing the end of August and it was almost time for school again, but we were allotted one last hoorah before we were sent back to 9 months of hardwork, or in my case, not doing my homework, ever. If I weren't so charming, I probably would have never graduated. But I digress. This hoorah, was the Sanpete County Fair! You might notice it was coming because of the sudden increase of toothless smelly carnies in town. Or the derby cars running a muck in the streets. But it was a wonderful time of year. It's when you got to stay out late, and hope to ride the ferris wheel with your crush. Which brings me to a story, that I actually thought of the other day because of this video. One time when I was a young gal, I was at the fair, one of my earliest recollections of being at the fair, and I was on the ferris wheel, BACK before the ferris wheel became a thrill ride, when it went slow and you got stopped at the top often. I was stopped at the top, and I noticed some shouting and chanting so I looked down to see a crowd of Mexicans standing in a circle while two others fighting in the middle. Both had well styled mullets and boots, one had white wranglers, and other just regular jean wranglers. But they were not throwing punches, only kicking. But not the kind of kicking when you are kicking someones cat and you are trying to be nonchalant about it, but like Walker Texas Ranger high kicks and round housing. That's all I remember, but I don't think I really appreciated the humor of it until years later cause I was a geeky loser until highschool, where I became just a regular geek.

My personal favorite part of the fair, was the demolition derby. It was/STILL IS the most magnificent redneck event on the face of the entire earth. Never has there been, and never will there be a time when more mullets assemble together to drink beers, eat nachos, and cheer for their best friends while they watch them come close to death and injury all for the entertainment of the highly educated, diverse, residents of Sanpete county. For those of you who are less fortunate and less learned about what exactly a derby is, I will spare you me explaining it to you in my overly descriptive writing style and share with you this clip, authentic from an actual Sanpete county derby.

Anyway, I will not apologize for the length of this post, because it is a blog, and I do whatever I want. But now you have a peek into my life. And perhaps, even a trip down memory lane if you were as lucky as me to grow up in Manti, or surrounding areas. (Except Gunnison, you still suck.)